In the company of stillness, I listen to the breath as I capture and release it. I can see what appears to be who I am, but, it is sitting in a golden aura. His eyes closed and in full lotus position, observing him I can feel the stillness radiate through my body. My mind, wondering if that is the true me or the version of myself I wish to be, I call out. It responds in such a gentle and firm manner, yet I do not see his lips move. The shell of my own body goes over and sits in the same place as this being, I become transparent. This golden being is truly my inner self.
When reflecting on life, it’s sometimes surprising how far we’ve come to reach the point where we are now. Sometimes you ask, “How the hell did I do it?” Yet, here you are, alive and well, or not. After doing meditations for over two years, it was during that experience described in the short paragraph above that I finally saw, felt and knew that this was my inner self. For you, the inner self may look very different, however, I understand how becoming acquainted with your inner self can take time, often, much to long for our liking.
In order to understand this calling from your inner self, you really have to develop a deeper relationship with it. This is much more than simply treating yourself to a manicure or buying an ice cream cone as a treat. I mean, cultivating a real connection with yourself, as you would with another human being. With our friends, the longer we spend time with them, the more we learn about them — this too applies to knowing yourself. How you do this is very similar to talking to a friend, and can be done both verbally or mentally. Personally, I often ask myself a question (just like I would ask another person), and actually think of an answer, as if I were talking to someone other than myself. Some may call me crazy, yet, this is how it all works — and, plus, I still don’t know what “normal” is.
Regardless of whether you have some level of a close relationship with yourself, the inner most part of you will always communicate with feelings and most of all through your interactions with other people. To get a better understanding of this, refer to my blog Relationships: How to Really Communicate.
As we know, the inner most part of yourself will remind you consistently on how you feel and how you treat yourself, mirroring in other people. If someone makes you feel “disgusted,” it might be because you find yourself disgusting in some way, and this could go way back to your childhood. So, why does this occur? Why doesn’t the inner most part of you just shut up so you can get on with your life? This can either be an easy answer to accept or a very difficult one; your inner self, your absolute true self, knows exactly where you want to be at any given moment of your life. This can be hard to understand because we, as human beings with an ego, want to believe we don’t have free will and a choice. And because we even go against our inner self, the ego part of us (the earthly part of us) wants to maintain control at all costs. If you can imagine, you’re on your way to a family reunion and you’re lost trying to find the venue. All the while you’re asking for directions from local people in the area, you’re still going the way you want to go and wondering why you can’t find the place.
Your inner most part of you is your absolute guidance system in this life, it communicates primarily through feeling. Now, I don’t mean feelings in terms of emotions themselves, I mean feelings as in conscious awareness. I say it this way because some people may explain themselves thinking they’re conveying an emotion when in fact an emotion isn’t really being communicated clearly through the use of conscious awareness. For example, if I asked someone:
“How do you feel?”
Their response may be something like this:
1)“I feel like the whole world is against me, I can’t do anything right, and the moment I try to put effort into anything, it falls to pieces.”
While if the person was aware of what they feel, they would say:
2)“I feel ashamed (emotion) that I got my speech wrong while presenting in class. And I feel so disheartened (emotion) about doing that speech over to get a better grade.”
There is a huge difference in awareness when it comes to the two statements. In statement 1, there is a sense of vagueness to it, and it appears to be more of a reaction than a response. Whereas statement 2 has a much clearer response and the speaker knows exactly what emotion is occurring in the moment that it happened. The inner most self uses feelings to get us to be aware of our emotions as much as possible, in order to get through whatever it is in our lives that’s hindering us from going forward, by feeling the emotions until it passes. And, just the same, to use conscious awareness to experience emotions is to live our lives in harmony.
Let’s say you want to feel happy (emotion) in a relationship, but you’re single. The best way to get that started is through visualisation or daydreaming as I like to call it. You picture being with that person, no face no identity, and how you would interact on a particular day or occasion. Do your best to make that visual bring a huge smile to your face, play it out like you’re watching a romance film (or action if you’re into that). You’re going to begin to feel the happiness within you, so much so that you’ll get to the point that you’ll feel excited. However, when you come back to reality and realise that person isn’t there, it’s important NOT to fall back into despair. Remember this is only the start. This is to get you to be aware of an emotion that is already within you, and when that person comes into your life it’s going to hit you like music, with no pain. Of course, there are more steps to this, and if you’re interested, let me know, I can make a blog about that.
The inner most part of you works with you at all times, never opposing you, because on the grandest scale it’s still you, just on a completely different level and with the ability to see further into the distance than you can from as you with the ego. Tapping into your inner self-requires a lot of patience and trust; for some this can be the little voice you hear in the back of your head, and for others, it’s a gut feeling. Listen to this voice or feeling as it speaks to you, it’s only you trying to get your attention.
Thanks for reading, Be groovy, Be you, Be Love. ❤